Action Figure Overview: G.I. Joe - Tele-viper (Hasbro, 1985)

 

G.I. Joe's enemy: Cobra Communications Specialist "Tele-Viper" (Hasbro, 1985)

When Hasbro first introduced G.I. Joe as a 3 3/4" "Real American Hero" in 1982, I fit their target audience 100%. I wanted all of the toys, I read the comic books, I watched cartoons and got excited when there was a commercial for GI Joe.  By 1985, I had a nice collection of Joes and Cobras who shot, punched, kicked, stabbed, and blew each other up pretty much daily.  When I saw my first wave-four figure in the toy store (It was Footloose, by the way), I looked at the back of his card and saw so many cool characters that I couldn't wait to find them!  Some of the most exciting were: The Dreadnoks, Snow Serpents, Crimson Guard, a new Snake Eyes figure with a sword and a wolf!?  The Tele-vipers, honestly, had some pretty serious competition for my very-few dollars.  The stars never aligned and I never brought home a Cobra Communications figure.

Cobra Tele-Viper in the field

Although I like them now, as a kid time went on, another wave of figures was released and the Tele-Vipers just kind of faded into the background.  But really, the Tele-Vipers seemed to be designed to be background characters!  They were the I.T. guys for Cobra.  When they were kids, Tele-Vipers were probably in the A.V. club at school.  Even the Tele-Vipers' file card has got to be one of the most dull, tech-heavy file cards ever written for a GI Joe figure!  Reading the it is about as interesting as reading the owner's manual for a VCR.

Vintage GI Joe 1985 Tele-Viper file card

When you look at the figures, the gun they came with isn't even a gun - It's a frequency jamming (and un-jamming) device that hooks up to their fancy, radio backpack.  When it comes to their uniform, they're basically wearing a blue maintenance guy outfit with a purple bullet-proof vest.  The file card tries so hard to make it sound fancy, but their helmet is basically a set of headphones, a couple of microphones, and a digital readout.  As a kid, these guys just never grabbed my interest. 

A squad of Tele-Vipers!

However, as an adult who has briefly worked a desk job, dealt with customer service, and even worked in I.T., I have to admit, I kind of feel for the Tele-Vipers.  I imagine that they were picked on in High School for being in the A.V. club, so to get their revenge, they join COBRA thinking they'll be some kind of bad mo-foe's, but they find themselves doing the exact same boring I.T. work they were doing before...only now they're burning up because they have to wear that hot helmet all day...oh, and occasionally, they have people shooting at them.  These guys are the "Common Man" more than any other G.I. Joe figure and I think that's what made me change my opinion about about these guys.

A Tele-Viper sitting at his computer back at Cobra Headquarters

Even though they were around for years, they were never really very prominent characters in the GI Joe universe.  In the comics, they were kind of background characters.  The first appearance of a Tele-Viper that I can confirm in the Marvel comic books is a single image in issue #47 from May of 1986 where a Tele-Viper informs Cobra Commander of an attack that's underway.  For the rest of the original Marvel run, Tele-Vipers show up occasionally... usually as a background character or sometimes with a line or two of dialog.  But, I can't think of a single issue where the Tele-Vipers had much of a big role to play in any story.  They're usually just delivering a message, watching a monitor, or holding a video camera.

G.I. Joe Comic #47 - first Tele-Viper appearance 

The cartoon was similar, but their roles weren't quite so defined in animated form.  In general, they seem to be used in the cartoon as the guys who man the computers at the base or who are out in the field as communications troops, but you also see them organizing delivery of heavy weapons and other dull, managerial tasks; like in the episode "Rocket's Red Glare" where they're overseeing the set-up of a bunch of weapons and vehicles to attack a restaurant. A restaurant?  Yep, even the Tele-Viper in the episode says, "Come on, isn't this overkill?" But in the end, he's just a guy following orders.

Tele-Viper in the field communicating with headquarters

In Part 5 of "Arise, Serpentor, Arise" a bunch of Tele-Vipers appear in a communications hub of a Cobra base (which is exactly what you would expect from Tele-Vipers), but in this episode, the Tele-Vipers fight the Joes who have infiltrated the base.  They actually have a pretty big fight scene with some of the Tele-Vipers showing some fighting skills before getting their butts kicked by the Joes.  That was kind of a weird scene, but surprisingly, it made a lot of sense.  On the other hand, Possibly their strangest appearance in the cartoon series is earlier in the "Arise, Serpentor, Arise" episode.  A group of Tele-Vipers are carrying a large, coffin-like container for Dr. Mindbender.  That seems like it would be a job for standard Cobra Troopers, so I'm not sure how the Tele-Vipers ended up doing this.  I'm sure there was a conversation about that later in the Cobra break room!  But typically, the Tele-Vipers were dealing with computers and communications.

A Tele-Viper relays orders to the FANG pilot

As a kid, I never gave any thought to Tele-Vipers beyond associating them with flying the Cobra Flight Pods (also known as Trouble Bubbles) and even that association was based solely on the Flight Pod box art.  When the Flight Pods appeared in the cartoon, they were almost always piloted by one of the main COBRA characters or by standard Viper Troops.  Since I never owned a COBRA Flight Pod, I guess I never really wanted a Tele-Viper action figure.  But as I said, I've developed an appreciation for these guys in recent years.  I certainly don't feel the need to own a squad of them, but I'm glad to have added one to my collection all these years later!

Tele-Vipers: Trubble Bubble pilots?

I'm curious to hear your opinion of the Tele-Vipers?  Do you see them as characters that are perfect for troop building or is one Tele-Viper enough?  ...or is one Tele-Viper "one-too-many?"  Did you have this figure when you were a kid?  Do you have one now?  If you've ever owned one, was the the pilot of your COBRA Flight Pod?  Tell me in the comments below!  

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